Cheating, breaking the diet, and returning to the path of righteousness



Everybody breaks their diet at one time or another.  If they don’t, there are two options: one, they are competitors in the fitness industry( i.e. sports athlete, body builder, or model.) Two, they are dirty liars.  But all jest aside, it is inevitable that you will slip, accidentally eat something carby, or intentionally break it at some point.  We recently went on a trip to the Bay Area, and to Austin, where both of our families live.  I know that visiting family is hardly a vacation, but any foodie can tell you that these two places are Mecca FOR GOOD AFFORDABLE FOOD. And so, with this sentiment in mind we set off on all the restaurants we were missing, in our fatty homesickness strains.  We the operators of a keto food blog ate…CARBS!  We had a great time.  We completely blew it for two solid weeks. I gained 20 lbs.  But, you may be asking “now what?”

This is the question, the holy grail if you will, of how the diet industry is a billion dollar industry.  After you mess up your diet, beat yourself up, eat more bullshit, and munch on some munchies about your sadness, how do you bring yourself to face, and go through the keto flu…again.  Much less without skipping a beat, and losing full days in a mental fog?  The easy answer is, you don’t.  This is how gyms, weight watchers, and every other wannabe youtube sensation takes advantage of the desperate, depressed, and anxious obese person in America, and worldwide.  You just decide to go through it again, again and again until you grow tired of going back and forth.  Lara and I have spent the better part of three years working on honing in our diet, and we are farrrrr from perfect.  We went to the San Francisco Bay and ate our way home.  Terrible foods, carby foods, whatever we wanted foods. We have yet to plunge whole-heartedly back into ketosis.

This is the problem that fat people cannot fix.  The issue isn’t “I don’t know what to eat.”  The issue is making excuses as to why now isn’t the right time.  Procrastination, unwillingness, the list of restaurants (planned digressions) before being back on the straight and narrow.  This is what fat people do.  The excuses are endless.  This is what I do.

My cousin Jack, who happens to be a fit 70 year old, said something off the cuff to me one day, but it ended up shaping my diet in a major way.  He said “Just ask yourself, would a fit person eat this?  It’s called the common sense diet.”  Before you pile on seconds, stop and ask yourself if you are hungry, or just want to taste more food, for that sake alone.

Sugar is a drug, this is how Weight Watchers makes money.  They tell you to count calories.  They tell you that 80 calories of carrots is the same as 80 calories of cookies. These bastards even hand you bags of cookies on your way out the door.  They tell you good job for eating 1300 calories.  It’s criminal. Look deep in your heart and tell me that you think that’s true, that all calories are created equal.  This is the biggest lie eaten up, pun intended, by desperate obese fad dieters.  They tell us this to make us buy low-fat, high-carb garbage.  They tell us this so that they can sell their ‘diet’ crackers. It’s propaganda. Fasting and eating whole foods are the keys to success. If you ate half a cake yesterday, which do you think is best:  eating 1500 calories of low-fat yogurt with fruit, eating a protocol of six meals of chicken breast and brown rice, or eating nothing at all?  I realize these aren’t your only options.  But I’m illustrating a point.  The only way back on the horse, is to get back on the damn horse.  You do not reason with it, you do not allow it ten more salt licks before getting on, you don’t sweet talk it.  You get back on it, no discussion, you surprise it, ride out the buck, until it’s calm.

This is what takes years to get good at.  People think that because they broke their diet they have failed as a person.  This is also part of the M.O. of the fitness industry.  Even I use their jargon.  “Get back on it, do good etc…” These are phrases used to shame obese people who cannot maintain low-fat, low-carb diets. It’s unsustainable. In reality 99% of people who try this diet fail, according to Dr. Jason Fung.  And, yet, doctors continue to prescribe it.

Eat high-fat, or fast, to get through the keto flu.  The keto flu sucks.  But, being fat sucks more.  The difference with this way of eating, is that it’s not a fad.  It’s science-based research, and works because it’s hormonally driven.  The root cause of obesity is insulin.  The best way to limit insulin, is to not eat.

The best way to get back on it, is to stop what you are doing.  Listen to your body.  Give it rest.  Treat yourself like a whining two-year old.  “I want this, I want that.”  Do you indulge that behavior, or do you ignore it until it stops.  Take your stomach back from your brain.  You are the owner of your diet, and your will. This is what the doctors tell you, but, what they leave out is that sugar creates cravings, and skews hormones so badly that you can only fight them for so long, before your body returns to a glycolysis state, away from a ketogenic state, and thinks it’s starving of nutrients, once again, because it’s waiting for it’s next hit of glucose.

Dieting is hard to do.  Your body wants to stay the same.  It certainly doesn’t want to eat itself.  But, having a flexible metabolism is vitally important to good health, being able to burn both fat and carbs is essential.  This is why fat people stay that way, when eating a Standard American Diet (S.A.D.) They only burn glucose.  They do not burn any fat, even though their bodies are pumping it out because of the amount of sugar being consumed.  It sits “stubbornly” stagnant.  However, this is a misnomer.  It’s waiting to be useful.  Fat’s active.  You just have to reset your hormones. To no surprise of mine,  all hormones are made of fats or proteins.  NOT CARBS. If you are eating too much, or too many carbs, stop the bleeding.  It’s that simple.  The simplest things are hard to do.  Ask Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

Chuch, Happy Eating,


Our video today is Fritz Wunderlich singing O wie Angstlich fromDie Entführung aus dem Serail.

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